Monica Lewinsky admitted in a new documentary that she harbored a “crush” on President Bill Clinton throughout her early days at the White House, and frequently flirted with him — even intentionally leaving her underwear exposed on one occasion to get his attention.
At a 1995 birthday party for a White House staffer attended by the president, Lewinsky realized that her underwear was protruding from the rear of her pants, she recalled in “The Clinton Affair,” a new A&E documentary series.
“Instead of pulling my trousers up, like I would in any other instance, I didn’t,” said Lewinsky. “It was unnoticeable to everybody else in the room, but [Clinton] noticed.”
“As I passed George Stephanopoulos’s office, I kind of looked into the open doorway,” she said. “And Bill happened to be standing there. And he motioned me in — I don’t think my heart had ever beat that fast. “Unbeknownst to me, I was on the precipice of the rabbit hole.”
Lewinsky opted to keep her thong out as Clinton walked by, and a short while later when she walked by his office, Clinton smiled at her and motioned for her to come into the room.
She soon admitted to Clinton that she had a ‘crush’ on him, and not long after the two were kissing in the dark room.
‘I don’t talk about this very often and I still don’t feel comfortable talking about it. It’s one of those things where it’s not as if it didn’t register with me that he was the president. Obviously it did,’ explains Lewinsky in a preview.
‘But I think in one way the moment we were actually in the back office for the first time the truth is I think it meant more to me the someone who other people desired, desired me.’
She continues: ‘However wrong it was, however misguided, for who I was at that time, at 22 years old, it was how I felt.’
Lewinsky went back to her desk after that first kiss and was then asked to return to the study later, when the two became more intimate. It was the start of a relationship that would find the two meeting in secret once a week for almost two years.
Lewinsky also opens up about the grief and fear she felt when she was told that she would have to cooperate with the FBI investigation of Clinton, or face time in prison.
‘In order to cooperate and avoid charges and I would have to make monitored phone calls which they would listen in to and record and I might have to wear a wire and go see people in person,’ reveals Lewinsky in a preview for the upcoming A&E docuseries The Clinton Affair.
It was too much for Lewinsky, who says that after a few hours she began to think about commiting suicide.
Twenty years later, it still causes her to break down in tears.